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Get Your Bachelor’s Degree in Orlando Magic Fandom

2014 September 3
by Adam Papageorgiou

stuffdiplomadragon

This isn’t a real Bachelor’s Degree. Yet, anyway. However, what if you could earn a diploma in Orlando Magic fandom? What would the curriculum look like? How would the 4 years of course load be planned out? Well, Professor Papageorgiou is here to help all beginners, intermediate level Magic fans, and die hard Orlando experts sharpen up on 26 years of Magic basketball related topics.

 

magicbachelordegreecurriculum

 

If you think 20 courses isn’t enough, we’re talking a lot of 82-game seasons and playoff analysis.

 

Below is a more detailed breakdown of the courses. 

 

1st Year

 

Tracy McGrady’s 2002-2003 Season

You’re a freshman, we don’t want to overwhelm you with too much. We’re going to ease you into the course work as you get to have fun watching all of T-MAC’s games from what should have been an MVP season. It’s interesting how the team as a whole transforms following the Mike Miller for Drew Gooden and Gordan Giricek deal.

 

50 Shades of Goggles 

We’re going to analyze the eye-wear and masks of players such as Horace Grant, Bo Outlaw, Danny Schayes, Courtney Lee, and more. We’ll see how these players performed before, during, and after (if applied) without their protective gear.

 

The History of KAPAYA!!!

The favorite word of Jeff Turner has been utilized a lot during radio and television play-by-play clutch moments in Magic history.

 

6 Degrees of Penny Hardaway

A course that proves that you can tie Penny Hardaway back to any NBA player within the last 30 years using teams and coaches as well as players that were heavily influenced by Penny’s unique style of play such as: Amar’e Stoudemire, LeBron James , Tracy McGrady, Gilbert Arenas and more.

 

Head Coach Timeline Plotting

Simply put, we’re examining every Magic Head Coach and how they performed with their various rosters.

 

 

2nd Year

 

Post-Shaq Centers

From Rony Seikaly, Isaac Austin, John Amaechi, Mario Kasun, and Patrick Ewing, to Andrew DeClercq, Michael Doleac, Shawn Kemp, Dwight Howard, Steven Hunter, Nikola Vucevic, and more. Every Magic big man is forced to in one form or another be compared to Shaquille O’Neal.

 

Wasted Draft Picks of the 1990s

Speaks for itself.

 

History of Dance

From simple stuff like towel waving, fist pounding, fist pumps and high fives, to the Chris Duhon travel dance, Quentin Richardson and his 3-point air guitar, Hedo Turkoglu‘s turkey dance, the Marcin Gortat hammer dance, and much more including Nick Anderson and his gem.

 

1-Year Magic Point guards

From Rafer Alston, Mark Price, and Derek Harper, to Rod Strickland, Chucky Atkins, Jacque Vaughn, and more.

 

Pre-Horace Grant Power Forwards

From Tom Tolbert, Bison Dele, and Howard Wright, to Terry Catledge, Jeff Turner, Sean Higgins, and others.

 

 

3rd Year

 

Ben Wallace’s Hairdo and Win Probability

This is basically a cleverly disguised topic on the ’99-’00 Heart N’ Hustle squad in which Ben Wallace played 81 of the 82 contests that season. Most of which were with a broken foot. Dude is tough as nails. This is a fact: The Magic media and Doc Rivers‘ coaching staff would keep track of win-loss records in which Big Ben either styled his hair as an afro or in cornrows. We’ll watch every game and see how Big Ben performed in each style.

 

Magic Killers 321

From the obvious guys like Michael Jordan and Allen Iverson, to guys like Jannero Pargo. These guys throughout Magic history were just pests to deal with.

 

Otis Smith: A Retrospective Study

Looking at Otis both as a Magic player and the General Manager. We look back on his good and bad management transactions.

 

Magic Assistant Coaches 352

Checking out all of the backgrounds and career paths of some great coaching staffs in the team’s history.

 

Ethology: Stuff the Magic Dragon

You’re analyzing the movements of STUFF over the years from his heavy days to his trimmed down physique. This examining includes Air Stuff and Mini Stuff as well.

 

 

4th Year

 

Tree Rollins: Study of a Multi-Tasking Pioneer

Part coach, part player. All during a championship run as well.

 

Leg Injuries 407

It speaks for itself but we’ll mention the team impacts of leg injuries to guys like Grant Hill, Anfernee Hardaway, even STUFF. As well as lesser known Magic men.

 

The Quantification of ‘Fat Guy’ Laps

You perform a group project with peers in which you research how many in-arena laps did ‘Fat Guy’ Dennis Salvagio run, what the distance comes out to, and how many calories were burned off. The group that comes the closest on all statistics wins replicas of the Fat Guy’s colorful and creativity Magic game suits.

 

Vocal Pedagogy: Analyzing Paul Porter

Studying the vocals of the best Public Address Announcer the NBA has ever heard.

 

Playoffs and Their Cardiological Effects

We take test subject volunteers, attach them to a heart monitor and we all watch every Magic playoff game ever. We notate and analyze any variations and up-ticks in the test subject’s heart rate during crunch time, blow outs, Magic celebrations, and moments of despair.

 

 

For the more adventurous students, we also provide a Summer Foreign Exchange Studies program where you can take trips to see the home lands of guys like Beno Udrih, John Amaechi, Gordan Giricek, Nikola Vucevic, Marcin Gortat, Darko Milicic, and many more.

At the end of your 4 years of efficient learning,  you will receive your Bachelor’s Degree and be known as a true Orlando Magic fan. If you feel there is room for more learning, you may be interested in our Master’s program.

 

Adam Papageorgiou is Owner/Editor of MBO and Founder of Orlando Magic Greek

2 Responses Post a comment
  1. pnut78 permalink
    September 5, 2014

    Awesome article!

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